


Leave It to the Mistletoe

by raelee514



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Best Friends to Lovers, Christmas Time, M/M, Robron secret santa 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:14:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28352268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raelee514/pseuds/raelee514
Summary: Getting told to kiss under the mistletoe changes everything.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 26
Kudos: 166





	Leave It to the Mistletoe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bobbie_4491b](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobbie_4491b/gifts).



> for @bobbie-robron on tumblr

His sister's bathroom was freezing, and he'd forgotten his towel. He grabbed some tiny towel that Vic probably used on her hair and rubbed his head, teeth chattering. He grabbed his robe, but it was thin and fraying. As he pulled it on, he looked outside the window. Snow was swirling in almost every direction. He felt the wind through the window and shivered. He was going to catch his death in here.

The plan was to make it to the closet for a towel then his room without running into anyone. His teeth chattered as he ran for it, and of course, a door opened. Aaron's boyfriend's head sticking out of Aaron's room. Robert sighed but kept on course. He pulled open the linen closet and grabbed an old beach towel. 

As he turned, he saw Eli was still looking at him. "What?"

Eli jumped and stepped back a bit back into Aaron's room. 

Robert glared at him. 

"I, uh… was told that you were who I needed to talk to."

That was ominous. "Well, I'm freezing, so…"

"Oh, right, yeah…later."

Robert turned to go into Vic's spare room and cursed his furnace for breaking for the billionth time. The last thing he really wanted to be doing was running into Aaron's latest boyfriend — who was sticking around for far too long. Why hadn't they broken up yet? Robert glowered as he dried off and quickly got dressed. 

Eli was hanging in the hallway. 

He had a split second impulse to just punch him. 

Tell him he wasn't good enough for Aaron. 

No one was. 

But he just blinked at him and realized he wasn't getting out of whatever this was… 

"What?"

Eli sighed. "I um, I asked Adam, but he told me to ask you…which their best mates, right? Him and Adam?"

Robert rolled his eyes. 

"Anyway…it's just things are getting serious."

_What? No. Him?_

"And so, I want to get Aaron something good for Christmas, but he's… well keeps saying he doesn't want anything…do have ideas?" 

"Why would I give you ideas?"

"Adam seemed to think you'd be the better one to ask?"

Robert rolled his eyes. 

"I mean… I know you and Aaron are mates, but…uh, are you really that close."

"Yeah, we are." 

"Oh…"

Robert smirked. It bothered Eli he and Aaron were close. Good. Let it. "And sorry, I already got him the best present, so you're flat out of luck." 

"I could pay you for it?"

"Are you serious? No. And it'd make zero sense coming from you…no mate, you're out of luck. Try a hoodie…" he brushed past him and walked downstairs.

Into an explosion of green streamers and red and green balloons. "Vic, what the hell?"

"My party is tonight."

He sighed. "You need to fix the heater in your bathroom."

"And just lose money again, no thanks…can you put this up?" she handed him a sprig of fake mistletoe.

"Really? Are you twelve? You going to play spin the bottle tonight too?"

"Could be fun," she grinned. "It's Christmas in a week, come on, please, I can't reach….between the kitchen and the living room."

Robert sighed and reached up, sticking it where she wanted it with a bit of tape. 

"Oh, Hi, Eli."

"Hi…Aaron said it was alright if I slept in."

"Yeah, of course, there is coffee in the kitchen."

Robert grabbed his things and tried not to glare at Eli. 

"That is looking more and more serious, isn't it great?" Vic said. 

"Yeah, peachy…"

"You could give him a chance…."

"Why?"

"For Aaron? I think he really likes him."

"I gotta get to work."

"Happy trucking."

"I don't drive…never mind…" he walked out the door, and his phone chirped. He grabbed it as he walked to the cafe on autopilot. It was Aaron. 

_A: Going to be at the party._

_R: Hoping to avoid it._

_A: They figure out your furnace. I can look at it, you know._

_R: Meeting guy there on my lunch break. Let you know._

_A: Eli texted that you're a prick._

Robert snorted and looked up to order his Americano. 

_R: Was I supposed to be nice?_

He watched the screen, holding his breath and hoping that the answer wasn't yes — if it was yes, then it was getting serious with him and Eli. Wasn't it? And that made his stomach churn, and the urge to hit and throw things rush to the surface. He didn't know what to do with it…

How do you deal with it?

He thought it was mad at first, feeling the things he felt for Aaron. He still thought it was a bit mad, but he knew now it wasn't going away. It was getting worse. But they were… they were them, mates, they had something good and real…

He needed him. 

The idea of messing with it felt terrifying.

_A: Nah._

Robert blew out a relieved breath. 

~~~

Aaron sipped the crappy coffee, mostly just to get some heat into him. He felt frozen from working in the yard in the snow. It was coming down too hard now, and it was pointless. He supposed he could do paperwork, but he was thinking about just taking off early. Start the weekend early, he glanced at the time. He could maybe swing by the Mill and be there when Robert met with whoever he'd called about his heater. 

The only issue was Adam was giving him a look. 

"What?"

Adam laughed. "Just I know someone is thinking really hard on what to get you for Christmas."

"Just get me money like usual, mate."

"Not me."

Aaron stared at him. 

"Can't think of who?"

Aaron shrugged. "Who is there?"

"Plenty of people…but this is specific. You really have no idea who?" Adam laughed. 

Aaron blinked. "Everyone knows what I like."

"Actually, mate, no one knows what you like. Why do you think I give you money, and Vic bakes you things?"

"I'm not that hard to buy for…" Aaron muttered. 

"Only if your Robert Sugden," Adam laughed. 

"What's that mean?"

"Oh, come on, he's like some Aaron savant. You always fucking love his presents."

"Do not…" Aaron tried not to look at his watch on his wrist that Robert given him for his birthday last year. It was simple, durable, not pretentious, and almost ugly. 

"Your mum is still mad about that watch…I saw you look."

"Yeah, the one she got me would have gotten all scratched up here in a day… it's just practical. And whatever…" Aaron frowned. "Who are you talking about?"

"Eli, mate, tall dude, bit quiet."

"What?" Aaron frowned. 

"Yeah, he asked me what you like. I sent him to Robert."

"OH…" Aaron started laughing.

"What?"

"Eli, texted me earlier saying Robert was a prick."

"They're getting to know each other."

"Whatever, what does he need to get me anything for anyway…" 

"You're dating, and Christmas is seven days."

Aaron shrugged. "It's not that serious."

"He's lasted a while, mate."

"It's…." Aaron sighed. 

"What?"

"Just tired of going out on the pull, you know, we get along alright…" he frowned.

Adam sat up. "So, it is serious?"

"Yes, no…" Aaron sighed and tried not to think about Robert. 

"I'm lost."

"I'd like to get serious, just not sure it's Eli…"

"Who then? Like is there someone?"

Aaron cleared his throat. "You know what? I need to head out."

"Whoa, whoa, there is mate…who?"

"It's nothing, but seriously, I need to go…"

"To the Mill?"

Aaron felt seen and turned back.

"We all know Robert will let someone rip him off if you don't… save my bro in law."

Aaron let out a small breath of relief and walked into the snow, and felt relieved when his car started. He frowned as tinny Christmas music filled the car but tis the season… He didn't bother trying to find a station not playing it. And as he pulled into the Mill's driveway, he ignored the fact he was singing along to Mariah Bloody Carey. 

He hopped out, spotting Robert leaning against his front door and as a truck pulled in behind him. 

"Good timing," Robert said. 

"Thought I'd make sure you don't get ripped off."

"I'm not stupid."

"You are an idiot, though. He'll overprice it…"

"Which one of you is Sugden?"

"I am, thanks for…furnace just broke down last night."

"Let's take a look."

Aaron stepped in behind him and shivered as they went inside. It felt colder than the outside. He and Robert glanced at each other. "Still warmer than Vic's loo…" they both muttered and laughed. 

Aaron grinned. 

Robert ushered him ahead. "Mr. Dingle here is going to be making the decisions."

Guy looked up. "I don't judge. My wife does the same thing…"

"Oh uh…"

"We aren't…"

Aaron glanced at Robert but looked away quickly. 

It hung there in the silence, their unfinished… corrections. 

The guy didn't notice as he started to take his look at the furnace.

~~~

Aaron and Robert sat in the cafe, hot chocolate in front of them, in silence. Aaron glanced around, watching Nicola straightening up the Christmas decorations. There was more Christmas music in the background. It was just the air now, he reminded himself but grumbled a bit as he sipped his drink. 

He felt Robert's eyes on him and looked up. He shrugged in response to the silent question. It wasn't important, not really, he grumbled about Christmas music every year — why be different. He rolled his eyes at himself as he decided it was a tradition. 

"It's just a little longer, and it's just a month of it," Robert laughed. 

"Started in November, mate." Aaron glared. 

"This, this is a good one…" Robert said, and he started to sing along to White Christmas. 

Aaron rolled his eyes and sipped at his hot chocolate. 

Robert kept singing, getting a bit louder and louder. 

Aaron threw his napkin at him and laughed when Robert smirked at him. 

His conversation about presents with Adam popped into his mind, and he realized he hadn't heard from the person who was making Robert's present for him — he needed to call him. He still needed to shop for the rest of his list, his mum, Adam, and Vic — he put them together, probably some gift certificate… 

His mind went to Eli. 

Ugh. 

"What's with the face?"

"Eli…he uh, Adam mentioned he's asking around for present ideas?" 

Robert's smile dropped. For a split second. But then it was back if a bit forced, and Aaron felt a yearning for it to mean something. That it probably didn't…

"Yeah, that's when I was a prick."

"I figured, when Adam mentioned…yeah." 

"Do you want me to give him…"

"No, no…I just don't. I wasn't planning on getting him anything. Like, have to now or…"

"Dump him."

Aaron laughed. "What just to get out having to give him a pressie?"

"Sure. You've dumped people for less."

Aaron laughed, but he was considering it — it felt awful. He hadn't lied to Adam. He was tired of the dating scene. He wanted something like his mate had with Vic…

He looked at Robert. 

He was fiddling with his phone. Aaron watched as he changed his wallpaper to a Christmas tree. "Dork."

"Grinch."

They fell back into silence. 

"Isn't this cozy."

Aaron looked up, and Eli was standing by their table. This look on his face. Aaron stared at him. 

"Just under my nose?"

"What?" Aaron shook his head. 

"Oh for fucks…" Robert muttered under his breath.

Aaron glanced at him. 

Robert started typing on his phone. 

"Ever think to mention how close you two are?" Eli asked.

"Uh…did I have to? He's my best mate…" Aaron felt lost. 

"I thought that was Adam."

Aaron nodded his head and shrugged. "Is there a limit?"

"He's bi," Eli bit out. 

Aaron's phone chirped. He looked down. 

_R: He was irked realizing we were close, but I didn't think it was this…_

"Aaron?" Robert's voice held so much. 

Aaron met his eyes, felt shaken by how green they were… he looked from Robert to Eli. "I've got this."

Robert stood up. "I'll be at the scrapyard," he said.

Aaron nodded. 

"Have a date," Eli said. 

"Sit down," he snapped. 

Eli huffed out a breath, but he sat down. 

"What's your problem?"

"Look, Adam is straight as they come, but Robert, he's…always flirting with you, and you two are all…"

"He's not…" _Flirting?_ Aaron frowned. "He's my friend as much as Adam."

"No," Eli shook his head. "No, it's different."

Aaron rolled his eyes. 

"Was watching you two through the window… this looked like a date."

"Don't be daft…" _did it?_

"I don't like it."

Aaron just stared at him. 

"So…" Eli said.

"What?"

"If we're serious, it has to stop."

Aaron felt gobsmacked. 

"Well?"

"Robert."

"Okay…wait, what?" Eli said. 

Aaron rolled his eyes. "You find out I have a bi friend and your first act is to behave like a jealous…I don't know, teenager, and you actually think I'm not going to pick my closest mate over you? Grow up, Eli…" 

Aaron stood up and walked out of the cafe. 

"Aaron, Aaron…" Eli was behind him.

"It's done," Aaron said. 

"But… okay, you're right I'm overreacting, alright. It's just…I feel like I don't know you, and then I find out you're super close with this fit guy…" 

"So? If we were closer, would it matter?"

"I just…I knew you were mates, but I didn't get it was close, and the flirting…"

"It's banter…" Aaron really wanted to not read into how Eli saw them — he was jealous. Biased. "It's banter like with Adam."

"It's not…he's fit, and he apparently _knows_ you…"

Aaron sighed. 

"I've made this a mess…"

"It's still over."

"What?"

Aaron sighed. "Look. Adam told me you want to get me something, that you see us getting serious…"

"I do."

"I don't…" Aaron shrugged. 

"It's about him?"

Aaron opened his mouth to argue, but nothing came out. 

Eli sighed. "I was… wrong-headed Aaron, but I ain't wrong about you and him…" 

Aaron frowned as he watched Eli walk away. His heartbeat was loud in his ears. Robert and he — they were… Something. Mates. Not like him and Adam, he told Robert things no one else knew. Or could guess at — Robert did. They were family, friends. Important. It was…

He felt like he would die before risking all of it. 

_But is it a risk?_

~~~

The party was a thing when Aaron got downstairs. He'd dressed up for it, being stuck there now. He and Eli had plans to go Bar West, but that wasn't happening, and Aaron was more than relieved. He felt like he'd dropped a weight and gotten out of something — Eli's overreaction screaming red flags at him…

And told him not to buy a word he said about him and Robert. 

Even if a piece of him might want to. 

He straightened the sleeves of his black sweater and looked around for where Vic put the beer. The party wasn't in full swing yet. He supposed a lot of people wouldn't show for another hour. Vic was still moving around, putting on finishing touches of her chosen finger foods and decorations. Adam was following her around, trying to tell her to calm down and enjoy. Aaron laughed, thinking Robert and her more alike than anyone ever noticed. 

He found the beer and picked up a bottle. 

Adam was in front of him. "She's stressing herself out."

"She'll relax, get some beer in her."

"The plan," Adam picked up two bottles. "Weren't you not staying?"

"Plans changed."

"Eli's coming over…"

"We broke up."

"What? Maate…you didn't dump him to get out of the present thing, did ya?"

"No…" Aaron said and ignored the fact he had considered that. "Rob and I were at the cafe, and he walked in all jealous and going on about me and him…" Aaron shook his head. "He gave me an ultimatum." 

"What?"

Aaron nodded.

"What? He said him or Robert?"

Aaron nodded.

Adam whistled. "He stood no chance mate…" he laughed. 

"It was mad, how jealous he was… like just because we're both into men…"

"Well, good riddance, can't mess with someone that jealous, yeah."

Aaron nodded.

"I mean, I can see it though…huh."

"What?"

"You and Robert."

"What?" Aaron forced himself to laugh. 

"Yeah, huh…" Adam laughed. "I mean you're mates, great ones… you get along. Ever considered it?"

He felt caught. 

"Have ya?" Adam grinned at him. "Yeah? I mean, I think I have the fit Sugden, but…"

"Shut up…" Aaron said to stave off his panic. He couldn't do this. 

"Ads…can you come take their coats?" Vic yelled from the door. 

And he was gone, and Aaron tried to remember how to breathe. 

But Robert took that second to walk into the flat. Dressed in his gray jumper, and the rest of Aaron's breath vanished. He looked down and willed Robert not to find him in the growing crowd. But he felt him, coming closer, then he smelled him, and he swallowed. 

"My place is even colder if you believe it," he said as he picked up a beer.

"Thought you weren't coming."

"Figured you'd need someone to talk to…" Robert smiled. 

Aaron nodded and shoved his hands into his jean's pockets. 

"You alright?"

"Yeah… I mean, I was going to dump him anyway."

"I didn't mean that…"

"No, not the present thing on the account he was into it more than me…"

"Can't blame him…" Robert said.

Aaron stared at him.

Robert was busying himself, trying to open the bottle. 

Aaron took it and snapped off the top for him. "Butterfingers."

"Thanks."

"You two mingle…please…" Vic was in front of them.

"Why would we do that?" Robert asked.

"Look, my friends from the gym are all huddled, Adam and I's friends from school are over there, and my friends from my cooking classes are there… it's all groups and corners. And you two are intimidating people away from the alcohol…"

"We're not…" they both muttered.

"Look at ya, with your we're too cool for Christmas grump faces."

"Hey, I love Christmas…" Robert denied. "This isn't Christmas." 

"We have a grab bag planned, but I need to get people mingling. MINGLE."

"Vic…" 

"Alright," Aaron heard himself say… He needed a break from Robert. Eli and Adam all in his head and making him think about the things he kept buried. It wasn't possible the two of them — wouldn't it have happened by now if it were? And Robert hadn't meant anything when he said he couldn't blame Eli for being into him? Had he? No, he had to stop this…

He couldn't ruin what they had. 

"Alright?"

"You take the ladies from her gym…might get a number. I recognize some people from school, so…"

"Aaron…" Robert's voice sounded odd as he walked away. He forced himself not to look back. 

~~~

_Get a number._

_Get a number!_

It repeated in his head as he talked to the women from Vic's gym — doing his best to be charming and talking about the people he knew from Vic's cooking classes — he'd taken a few with her. One woman was well into him, but he kept looking at her, and he couldn't bring himself to care…

He glanced around the room for Aaron. He felt foolish for getting it into his head that maybe he should… What? Ruin their friendship? Just because Eli got jealous — the bloke was off the plot, really. It'd been based on nothing at all. It wasn't real…

He hadn't sensed something real between them.

They were mates. Been mates so long, Robert didn't remember not being mates. But that'd been true once. They hadn't gotten along at all…

Until the day they did. 

He frowned. 

"What did you do?" Vic's made him blink.

"Huh?"

"Well, you made the gym crowd go get drinks at least…"

"I was talking up Jan and Brian from Cake Baking."

Vic laughed. "This party is going to fail."

"It's not. Just give it some time. Not even everyone is here yet."

"Could you lose the long face, though?"

"I'm not long-faced."

"Are."

"Whatever…" he looked around.

"Aaron went outside."

"What why?"

"Air, he said."

"Oh."

"Oh?" Vic echoed him, and when he looked at her, she was staring at him funny. 

"What?"

Vic eyed him, then she looked away and around the room. "Oh, there he is…" she looked around the room. "I have a brilliant idea."

"I'm scared…"

She grabbed his hand. "Shut up… Aaron!" 

"Vic, let go…" he shouted as she yanked him toward the kitchen. She stopped short, though, and he tripped into Aaron. 

Aaron's hands came fell onto his arms, just above his elbows, slowing his momentum. 

"Thanks," he muttered out of breath. 

"Kiss," Vic said. 

The two of them looked at her. 

"What?" Robert asked.

She pointed up. 

He looked at the mistletoe he'd put up for her earlier. "No."

"Do it, please," she whispered and looked around. "I need an icebreaker."

"You and Adam do it…" Aaron said, his hands sliding off of Robert.

Robert hated how he felt cold there. 

"No, we're married. What's the fun in that. Now you two are two fit blokes…"

"You want to objectify your own brother."

"In the interest of my party, yes I do…' Vic smiled at them. "Just do it," she snapped. 

"Vic…"

"Oh, come on, you're close, you've slept together on my couch, just kiss."

Robert closed his eyes for a moment, trying to find the reason he could give that would stop this from happening. But his mind was blank. No lies, no excuses. All he felt was that he wanted to do it… And it wasn't his idea, was it? It was just mistletoe?

It was a stupid Christmas Tradition. 

It was a reason. 

He could kiss Aaron, and it wouldn't ruin anything. They wouldn't even have to talk about it afterward — it'd probably be awful anyway, show him once and for all that he and Aaron were just mates… 

"Alright…" he muttered. 

"What?" Aaron said.

"It's just some dumb tradition, right?" Robert said, and it'd sounded better in his head. 

Aaron looked between them.

"Please?" Vic said. 

Aaron sighed. 

Vic squealed and shoved Robert into Aaron. 

"Vic.." He frowned, but his hands stayed where they'd fallen on Aaron's waist. "Um.."

Aaron shifted and looked up at the mistletoe. 

"OH OH LOOK PEOPLE UNDER THE MISTLETOE," Vic yelled. 

Robert watched Aaron's face go beet red. 

He had to rescue him.

His hands flew up and landed on his face. He took a bracing breath. This would answer it all right…

He might as well enjoy it, go for broke, and kiss the hell out of Aaron. His thumbs trailed against his scruff, his eyes locked onto brilliant blue, he felt his breath catch, but it wasn't like he'd need it…. He pressed their mouths together, and heat shot down his spine, and he stepped back, for a split second, then he dipped back down for more. Aaron tasted like chocolate and beer. His hands were on, trailing up his arms…

A trail of electric bursts before it landed on his shoulders. He felt pulled in closer, he felt the tip of Aaron's tongue, and one of his hand fell down Aaron's chest, it landed on his waist and he yanked him closer. 

He opened his mouth, and Aaron was there, leaning up into him, hands clutching at his jumper. Their feet tangled, then tripped, swayed… 

Robert's mouth felt cold as they parted. 

His heart was hammering. 

Aaron's eyes were bright and wild.

But Robert blinked and Aaron was gone. 

He left Robert in a daze. 

~~~

It was two days later, and Aaron still felt upended. 

It figured Robert was an amazing kisser. 

Toe-curling and life-changing. 

Aaron swore and turned over onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow. He couldn't handle this. This wasn't how it was supposed to go? And he kept wishing he hadn't let Robert talk him into going along with Vic's ridiculous idea… 

_It's just some dumb tradition._

It was just the excuse he needed, wasn't it? It was a reason that they could cross a line that something had decided they'd never cross. Mistletoe in the middle of a party. It'd be quick and chaste and ridiculous. People might laugh, and catcall and Vic would get her party ice broken…

He should have known it'd backfire. 

Because it was the best kiss of his life… and he'd tried to give as good as got. He'd felt hungry the second their lips touched. All his insides flipped inside out and in again. He'd wanted to climb up Robert, shove his hands under his jumper instead of clutching to the material with his fists…

When their tongues met, he thought his legs might give out. 

He never kissed anyone like that before. 

He'd felt on fire.

So, he'd run outside. 

And away from Robert. 

How could he look at him again? How had he told himself that kiss would mean nothing — because it'd meant something. 

They couldn't go back.

And Robert likely agreed.

Because Aaron knew he was being avoided right back.

He probably regretted it.

He probably wasn't sure how to tell Aaron they could only be friends. 

He'd risked everything. 

He screamed into the pillow. 

~~~

He was going to run out of the hot water that he'd just gotten back, but he couldn't bring himself to leave his shower. He let the water wash over him and sighed in resignation that wasn't going to wash away the memory of kissing Aaron…

He'd tried. 

To purge it. 

To tell himself they'd just done what Vic wanted.

That Aaron running away had been about him hating attention and not him…

Though he was being avoided.

Which was relieving and sad. 

Because he was avoiding Aaron, and he didn't know how to stop.

He wanted to stop. 

They could bury this, right? Go back? 

Could they?

Aaron had kissed him back? His hands digging into his skin a bit, they'd clutched at his sweater, up on his toes, their chests pressing together —that'd been Aaron. 

It'd felt. 

Amazing.

Who knew kissing could feel like fire?

He hadn't. 

Robert sighed. 

He turned off the water, grabbed his fluffy towel, and enjoyed the fact he wasn't freezing. He heard his doorbell go and sighed. He needed to be left alone — the last thing he could deal with right now was other people. But it was probably Vic…

It was time to start on Christmas dinner. 

As if getting him and Andy together would ever be a good idea. 

But he put on his robe, fixed his hair a bit, and walked downstairs. 

"Liv?" Chas said as she walked in. 

"Um…what about her?"

"What about her? She just called to ask me to stay at mine?"

"OH…" he sighed. "Yeah, I already got the tickets. If she can't, she can hide out here."

Chas just stared at him. 

"What?"

"That's your Christmas present to Aaron, his sister?"

"Uh, yeah…why? He misses her. Seems obvious."

"I bought him two tickets to Ibiza."

"Tacky. He'll love it."

"For the weekend after New Year's, the dates you have her here…" 

"Oh…" 

Chas sighed.

"He can take her."

"What?"

"It's perfect, right? He can take Liv."

"To Ibiza."

"What? He'll love spending time with her…she'll love it. It's win-win…" Robert walked into his kitchen. 

Chas made a noise.

"What?"

"I was trying to top you."

"What?"

She groaned. 

"Want tea?"

"Fine…" she sat down at his kitchen. 

He went about filling the kettle. 

"Do you love him?"

He dropped the kettle in the sink. 

"Hmm…was that an answer?"

He turned and stared at her. 

"Do you?" she asked. 

He felt his cheeks heat, knew his chest was too… he flashed to that kiss. But more than just being with Aaron — anywhere, anytime, no matter what they were doing…

Always the best part of his day.

He'd missed it for the past few days. 

"Better do something about it before someone else scoops him up…" Chas said. 

"I didn't…"

"You didn't need to…" she said. "I heard Vic describing that kiss."

He paled. "She's what?"

"Oh, it's the latest gossip," Chas laughed and pointed at him. "Don't be stupid, Sugden…now tea please while we iron the details or our now group gift." 

He groaned. 

~~~

"You live," Vic exclaimed as she found him at the kitchen table sipping a brew. 

Aaron nodded. 

"You've been in and out before I can see ya…"

He shrugged. 

"So, uh… Are you mad at me?"

"Maybe."

"For the incident, or telling everyone about it?"

"What?"

"Okay. Both."

He groaned and slumped in his chair. 

Vic sighed and sat down. "I thought…"

"You thought what?"

"You'd get together."

"You what?" Aaron stared at her. 

"I mean…" Vic sighed. "Aaron. It's you and Robert."

"We're mates."

"Oh…" she snorted. "Look… Robert was moping without you at the party. I don't even know why you left him to… And Adam, he'd brought up how Eli noticed that thing between you — not that Adam's ever noticed it. But since it was brought up, Adam was wondering why you two just never…"

"I, what, Vic, make sense."

"Oh, I'm making sense. You just don't want me to… You and Robert, Aaron. Why aren't you a thing?"

"Because, because…." Aaron frowned. 

"See."

"No. No, it's not that simple."

"Of course, it is."

"No, no, it's not…" Aaron frowned. 

"Why?"

"I can't lose him."

"Hmm, I think we're talking about the opposite of that."

"No, no, we're not…if it, if we try, and it doesn't work…" Aaron shook his head. "No. I'd miss him."

"So, go for it."

"And then it crashes and burns?" Aaron shook his head.

"So, you're a coward?" Vic said. "The both of you? Probably. Because the two of you are avoiding each other like you contracted the plague instead of sharing probably the most passionate kiss I've ever witnessed. I figured you two kiss, feel a spark, but no the two of you enacted some romance novel." 

"Vic…" he blushed. 

"You love him."

"Of course I do, but…"

"You are in love with him."

"I…" his phone rang. 

"Should check it. Adam said something about a scrap delivery issue."

He sighed and looked at his phone, half afraid it'd be Robert. It wasn't. And the disappointment like a punch. He sighed at the number, though… and dropped his phone. 

"Ezekiel's Woodworking Studio?" Vic read the caller's identification. "What's that about."

"Robert's Christmas present isn't it… it's nothing really, I just saw this guy, and his art looked like it fit in with the Mill — like Robert…I commissioned a piece."

"Commissioned a piece?" Vic shook her head. "And you, who doesn't spend over ten quid on your own mother, want to tell me you aren't in love with my brother?"

He shifted in his seat. It all looked different now, didn't it? 

His lips tingled. 

His insides flipped. 

"Aaron, please don't do anything you'll regret." 

~~~

_R: My house._

Aaron touched his mouth as he read the words and then shoved his phone into his jeans and looked around. No one was taking much notice of him. Everyone was just chattering amongst themselves. He noticed most everyone at their tables at the Woolpack had Christmas bags with them. Some even had wrapped up boxes. 

It was snowing again, and he almost felt a bit cheery. But his insides twisted, pleasantly and not, as the kiss played over in his mind again… It wouldn't let him let it go. It wouldn't let the things Vic said go either...

But neither would his fear. 

He sat down and ordered a pint from Charity. 

Cain sat down next to him a few minutes later. 

They grunted hello. 

Aaron ordered a second pint, he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, and he knew it was Robert. He felt in his bones. He'd made the overture, and Aaron ignored, but he wasn't…

Robert had decided to stop avoiding.

But what did that mean? Was he reaching out to go back to the status quo or? 

He sighed into his pint. 

"Alright, that's enough…" Cain pulled the pint away.

Aaron scowled at him. 

"What has you moping about?"

"Nothing."

"What your mum do?"

"Nothing?"

"Scrapyard in trouble?"

"No, we're fine."

"It Sugden?"

He scowled.

"What he do this time?"

Aaron stared at him. "What?"

"He does something mad, you two fall out, you look like a grumpy bear until it's fixed… just forgive him already and put the rest of our misery having to deal with you."

"Oh, you're a bush of roses…" Aaron shot back, then rolled his eyes. 

"I'm I wrong?"

"He didn't..." Aaron frowned. "Do we, I, we do that?"

Cain shrugged. "You aren't roses when you and Adam fall out either, but it's never as bad. What happened?"

Aaron felt his cheeks heat, and he felt the phantom kiss of Robert's mouth. He touched his mouth and grabbed his pint back from Cain. "We kissed," he muttered before drinking.

Cain stared at him a bit, made a noise, and rolled his eyes. "You were alright with it?"

"Yeah…yeah…well no…it was under the mistletoe, Vic made us, for her party."

"So not a real kiss…"

"Wasn't supposed to be…" Aaron sighed. 

Cain shook his head. 

Aaron snorted.

Cain eyed him. 

Aaron twisted his pint glass around. 

Cain sighed. "I'm trying here. You got work with me."

"It was…." Aaron sighed. "Can't get it out my head."

"Oh."

Aaron nodded.

"Then why are you here, moping?"

Why was that such a good question? Aaron sighed. "Fine."

"Fine."

"Going to his…" Aaron tossed some money on the bar. "Thanks."

Cain nodded. 

It was freezing outside. He dug out his gloves, zipped up his coat, put his gloves on, and started walking through the storm to Robert's house. As he got closer, he couldn't see any lights inside, and he started to feel stupid. Maybe he wasn't even home. Maybe he'd gotten fed up with no answer from him and gone out. 

But he got to the door and rang the buzzer and hugged himself against the col and waited what felt like forever. But it was probably only a minute or so when Robert appeared and yanked Aaron inside…

"You look freezing," he muttered. "Get out of that jacket. It's wet with snow."

Aaron did as he was told, mostly because he was freezing. He toed off his boots too and looked around The Mill. He loved it. He'd helped Robert out a bit, pointing to things he liked. A few of them were on the walls. There was one empty spot -- Robert driving himself spare trying to figure out what he wanted there. 

He thoughts about the present he commissioned. His stomach churned. He hadn't been sure about it, but something had pressed him forward. It felt like a familiar fear. 

A Robert fear. 

Robert appeared in front of him and held up two boxes. "Tea or hot chocolate?"

"Hot chocolate."

A grin broke across Robert's face. "Me too."

"Yeah…I know…" Aaron laughed. 

Robert kept looking at him. 

Aaron nodded.

"So, you're here… I thought for sure you were still avoiding me." 

"Tried too. Cain was talking my ear off…"

"Cain? Talking your ear off?"

"In his own way."

"So, escaped by coming here?"

Aaron nodded. 

"Good good," Robert turned toward his stove. "Take a bit to make this… sit down?"

Aaron pulled out a chair in the kitchen. "Furnace is definitely fixed."

"Yeah, thanks for helping me find that part cheaper."

"No big deal."

"Still…." He said from where he was now, stirring chocolate in a pot. 

Aaron wondered how many times he'd watched Robert do it — make them hot chocolate, over the years, how many Christmases? How many years where the only present he ever looked forward to were the ones marked by Robert…

They were always the only surprise.

The only gift that made sense to him. 

He knew the fear he was tasting. He'd felt it a long time. Let it get too strong. 

"Look…" Robert muttered and turned away. 

"What?"

Robert sighed and stayed focused on the pot of chocolate. "This is weird."

Aaron let out a laugh. 

"And awkward, and we've never been awkward…"

Aaron nodded. 

Robert smiled, and he turned off the burner, grabbed the chair closest to Aaron, and sat down. "I…"

Aaron waited. 

Robert's cheeks went pink. 

Aaron felt his breath catch.

"Am terrified."

Suddenly Aaron could breathe. He felt tears in his eyes, and his head nodding up and down. "Me too…" he wiped at the corner of his eye. 

Robert blew out a breath. "That's fantastic."

"That we're both scared?" Aaron shook his head.

"Yeah, yeah…isn't it?"

"I don't know. Been using it to… keep us how we are?"

Robert nodded. "Is that what you want? Us how we are…"

"Or?"

"I've hated all your boyfriends."

Aaron nodded. "I know."

"But, I mean, not just for all the reasons they were wrong for ya…which they were…but… I hated them, Aaron. I wanted. I just didn't think you'd want me…"

"Why wouldn't I want you?" Aaron stared at him.

"I'm smug, I'm rude, I'm always scheming against my co-workers…"

"You're ambitious, you never let your sister down… You never let me down." 

Robert shrugged. 

"I need you…" Aaron whispered. "I can't talk to anyone else like you."

"Same here, you know…your the most important person to me outside of myself and Vic…I don't know what I'd be without you."

Aaron nodded. 

"But…" Robert grabbed his hand. 

Aaron felt a jolt of warmth up his arm. He stared at their hands, watching his own fingers just tangled with Robert's. He thought about a million times, he'd wanted to grab his hand… 

So many chances he never took. 

"I want more."

Aaron closed his eyes. 

"Do you think?"

"I don't know…" Aaron felt the fear tearing at him. He let go of Robert's hand and wiped his eyes. "I can't…" he stood up and went to the door.

"Aaron…" Robert followed him.

He bent down to put on his boots.

"Don't go. It's a blizzard out there."

"Not going far…"

"Aaron?"

"I heard ya…" he muttered, and he dared look up into eyes he knew as well as his own, mostly green with a glint of blue that always drove him to distraction. He sighed and started trying to put on his coat. 

"And?"

"I'm scared."

"Me too."

"I know, but…"

"Aaron."

"It's so much…" Aaron let out a breath. "It's too much. I was scared alone, and now we're scared together…"

"It'll get less frightening."

Aaron let out a breath. He wasn't sure. 

"Fine…alright. I'll wait."

Aaron stared at him. "What?"

"I'll wait…" Robert said. "Been waiting anyway, even if I didn't know it. Been waiting for something to crack and make us open our eyes — my eyes are open now. I'll wait for ya… what else would I do? It's you, Aaron. I'm terrified, but I'm sure… that kiss…I thought it would tell me I was lying to myself about us. But it was the truth instead."

"You're mad."

"I know," Robert grabbed Aaron's coat that he was still fumbling with and zipped it up. Tugged and pulled at it until it wrapped around him correctly. Snug and warm. He watched Robert take his hand again, the one that just been tangled up with his… his hand looked small in his grip. He felt a warmth from it that radiated throughout all of him. 

He let Robert put on his glove. Then the other one. 

Robert grabbed a hat from his rack, yanked Aaron's hoodie up from under his jacket, and put the hat and the hood up. "I want a text, alright."

"Robert…" he stared at him. 

"Unless you're ready to stay?"

His heart jackhammered. 

"Okay….but um, I'll see you on Christmas at Vic's."

"I don't know if…"

"I said I'll wait, no time limit."

Aaron blew out a breath. He stared. "I don't deserve…"

"Yes, you do."

"You deserve…" Aaron sighed. "You deserve more."

Robert shook his head. 

Aaron sighed and leaned forward and kissed him. 

Just like that. 

Robert sighed into it, and Aaron stepped back. 

They blinked at each other. 

Aaron swallowed. "I won't take long."

"I'd like that."

Aaron nodded and darted out. 

Away.

He wasn't even sure why, just that the fear was overwhelming. Robert was the one he relied on to always catch him…

And he was waiting on it again. 

The risk felt too real. 

~~~

_Christmas Day_

He swung to look at the door hearing it open. It was a little past ten at night, but he sighed when it was Matty and his girlfriend, Amy. Though it was all part of the tradition that somehow he'd been allowed into — Aaron dragging him once years ago now. Adam and his family started, then came Vic. Just a group of them getting together after all the Christmas dinners, opening presents, drinking and watching a stupid Christmas movie on late-night cable. 

It was fun. 

It was nice to feel part of something. 

He never really had that until coming home and finding Aaron.

He shook his head as the level of their stupidity crashed down on him. 

And it might be too late. 

Aaron might be too afraid of them.

But Robert wasn't sure if he could go backward — he'd try. For Aaron, as equally terrifying as that sounded — just being friends when he wanted to be…

Everything. 

The door opened again, and Aaron came in. 

Robert felt his heart stop. 

Aaron was holding an odd-shaped gift, which he put down with the rest, and he let Vic pour him some wine, which he only drank on holiday's but Robert knew he liked a few — he'd made sure to buy his favorite. It was the one that was already open. 

He saw Aaron take a sip, notice, and seek him out. 

He nodded. He didn't dare move. This was Aaron's call. 

How it went tonight. 

Aaron walked across the room. 

Robert smiled and tugged on the expensive jumper he was wearing. 

"Paddy….not my mum, which was weird. Though the same thing, innit?"

"Yeah."

"Mum said, I was to discuss her present with you…which again weird."

Robert smirked. 

"Seriously, you went in on it with my mum?"

"No. You think we could get along that long? No, just hers kind of had to fit into mine…it was competing. I fixed it, though."

"Competing…"

Robert grinned and grabbed Aaron's hand. "Upstairs."

He felt Aaron's hand twitch in his and slowed down, ready to let go, realizing he shouldn't have — they didn't do this, they touched arms or whatever… this wasn't waiting, was it? 

Aaron squeezed his hand. 

He felt a sigh of relief at not having to let go. 

"Wait…" Aaron muttered as they reached the stairs. 

Robert stopped.

Aaron grabbed the big present from his pile. 

"Whoa, hey, where are two going," Adam started.

"Nope, let them," Vic grabbed his arm.

"But we all…"

"Not this year," Vic said. 

Robert shot her quick smile and tugged Aaron behind him up the stairs. He went into Aaron's room — his favorite in the whole house, muted colors and not that awful lime his sister chose in what he assumed was madness. He turned to face Aaron to be blocked by the present. 

"It's big."

"I see."

"I hope you like it because I wasn't sure…" Aaron sighed. 

"I'll love it. But you first."

Aaron nodded.

They sat down on the bed. 

Aaron took his hand in his.

Robert swallowed.

Aaron fiddled with their hands.

"Aaron?" his throat felt dry. 

"I'm still scared…"

Robert nodded.

"But just now, downstairs… seeing ya, touching ya…it feels…better."

"Good."

Aaron looked at him. 

Robert waited. 

"Present?" Aaron asked. 

Robert tried not to feel disappointed. He hated himself a bit for feeling disappointed. He was here with Aaron. They were holding hands — that felt wild in a way, in an amazing way. He promised he'd wait. That meant not complaining… 

"I'm sorry…"

"No, I'm, I didn't mean to…"

Aaron took a sharp breath. "I'm just not…"

"It's okay…presents." Robert stood up and reluctantly let go of Aaron's hand. Aaron's hand falling after him. He pulled the tickets out of his pocket… 

"To explain… these are the tickets your mom bought before she knew what my present is."

"Alright…" he took them, and his eyes lit up. "Ibiza, five nights, after the New Year."

"Tacky."

"It's great…" he frowned. "Robert? How does yours compete?"

He pulled out the next piece of paper. "This is Liv's itinerary. She get's here on December 30th."

"You…you…" Aaron stared at him. "I haven't seen her…since two years ago…the money…you…" he stared at him. "Sandra agreed."

"It took some charming, but Liv misses ya too, and you don't talk enough because you're horrible at Facetime…"

Aaron launched off the bed, his hands on his face, and kissed him, muttering, "Shut up."

They swayed. Robert ran his hands down Aaron's back.

Aaron let out a noise and stepped back. "We can't go back, can we?"

Robert smiled a bit because Aaron was still in his arms. He could feel his heat. His hands were settled on his waist. He leaned down and caught his eyes. "No."

Aaron nodded. 

Robert held his breath. 

"How, um…how are you fixing it, so mum's gift and yours…"

"Liv's going with ya, to Ibiza."

Aaron smiled at him, but it wasn't as big as he expected. It didn't reach his eyes. "Aaron?"

Aaron stared at him, his hand reaching up, and he touched his face. "You hate Ibiza…"

"It's…"

"Uh…" Aaron cleared his throat, stepped back, and picked up the large wrapped gift he had for Robert. "I'm nervous about this."

Robert took it. It was heavier than he expected. "Aaron, what…" 

"Open it."

He pulled it open. It was clear it was wood, driftwood maybe, and he shook his head and pulled it out of the paper completely. It was painted in whites and blues that would look perfect in his living room. It was so simple it was barely even a design, but it was clearly art, made from found wood and made…

"Aaron."

"I sorta picked out the colors and the design, nothing fancy, I was…"

"I love it."

Aaron smiled. 

"It'll be perfect in that spot above…"

"The fireplace," Aaron finished. 

"Yeah…"

Aaron frowned and looked at the tickets on the bed. 

"What?"

"Come with us…"

"What?"

"If you can…if you want…come with us."

"To Ibiza?"

"I know you hate it and all, but…"

"Aaron?"

"I…" Aaron closed his eyes, but he held out his hand. 

Robert took it. 

"We can't go back…" Aaron tugged at him. He stepped closer. "I don't want to go back."

"Are you…"

"You can stop waiting."

"Aaron?"

"Yes, us, let's just… risk it and go all in."

"Thank God," Robert breathed. 

"But I can't go away for five nights without you…and if you can put up with Liv…"

"Anything. Liv, Ibiza…"

Aaron laughed. 

"I mean it though, Aaron. Anything."

"Me too..." Aaron let out another breath and squeezed their hands. "It's already not all that scary."

"Maybe a little," Robert whispered. "Aaron?"

"Yeah."

Robert kissed him, then again, and tugged at the sweater. "All in?"

Aaron stared at him, his eyes wide, and he looked terrified. Robert felt it. He felt himself, but he strokes his thumb where it was already on the skin, and Aaron's eyes went darker, and he looked at Robert. "I haven't…every time I relive that kiss, I think about you and me…"

"Yeah?" Robert smiled and kissed his neck. 

Aaron made a beautiful noise and started to pull on the buttons of Robert's dress shirt. "Yes. All in."

Robert kissed him before he finished the sentence. He wanted to taste him again, feel the scruff of his beard and the pain of how hard Aaron gripped onto him, moved into him. He was moving backward and hit the door of Aaron's closet, and Aaron started to kiss his jawline as he tugged down on Robert's shirt. 

He hurried it off his shoulders, trying not to move too much, wanting Aaron to keep touching him, kissing him — it felt like he waited forever. Like he just woke up a few days ago under the mistletoe when Aaron kissed him…

All his bottled up jealousy and attraction. 

All the love. 

He grabbed Aaron's face, their eyes met, and he let out a breath. It was shaky, scared. They were changing so much about them right now — but it felt right. It felt ridiculous to have waited. He swallowed. "We can't be afraid, Aaron."

Aaron nodded, but his breath quickened. "It's just scary…how much I feel about you…"

Robert nodded, and he grabbed Aaron's sweater. "Why is this still on…"

"Don't know."

He pulled it off and dropped it to the floor.

"That's new, you know."

"You're never going to wear it again," Robert said as he kissed Aaron's neck. 

"Shit…" Aaron gripped onto him. 

"Like that…" he did it again.

"Rob…" Aaron's hands were on his belt buckle. 

"Hurry up," he muttered, and it was his turn to push Aaron. 

Back and back until they landed on the bed, the springs creaking and both of them laughing, then kissing and touching, and yanking on clothes and kicking…. 

Robert found himself on his back, Aaron over him, staring down right into him, through his eyes to his soul. His heart pounded. "Aaron…"

"What?"

"You're everything."

Aaron sniffed and looked away. 

Robert ran his hands up his arms. 

Aaron looked back at him and nodded. 

~~~

They collapsed together, tangled up, out of breath, and both of them feeling smug, and Aaron stared at Robert's smuggest smile and thought that it was his — all his. He made it happened. He got to enjoy everything Robert was rightfully smug about. He got to made to feel like he was amazing and worthy and lit afire… 

Robert's word was right. It was everything. Robert was everything. 

And his eyes blinked closed. 

And opened. 

To Robert's sleeping face. 

He swallowed, every second of making love — god, it had been, hadn't it? He felt his whole body flush, with heat, from the intimacy, the passion. Every kiss, every touch, he couldn't forget it — the talking and the laughing. The quiet. Robert begging him to be slower, take longer, there was no hurry….

There was no hurry. 

He let out a shocked breath to at the…

Lessening of his fear. 

But he got it now. Robert's word was right. _Everything._ When you loved someone that deeply — he did love him. Love Robert. Possibly from the minute they met, and he became the person he relied on the most…

He knew it, but he hadn't known it. 

Been too afraid of that, of losing him. 

He was still terrified. 

Robert's eyes opened.

Aaron smiled. 

"Are you watching me sleep?"

"Little bit…"

"Huh?" Robert smiled.

Aaron tried to move closer, but there wasn't much room.

Robert held him tighter all the same. 

"Are you alright?" Robert whispered after a bit. 

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?" Robert sounded hesitant.

"Yes."

"It's just..didn't seem like you planned…"

"You can't, can ya, plan this?"

Robert nodded. "Guess not, but you know…"

"I'm still afraid I might always be a bit… you mean everything."

"I know, you too…"

"I knew…you were standing there going about Ibiza and Liv… and how you just fixed it, fixed the mix up so I'd be happier… you always do that, make things better for me…not even trying, not even meaning too…"

"Aaron…"

"No…I heard I was going to Ibiza with my sister — who I miss, and all I could think was I didn't wanna leave ya."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…and I voiced it, and you just agreed to go someplace you hate, for me."

Robert shrugged. 

"I love ya," Aaron whispered, and he was immediately kissed, then Robert's face was buried into his neck. "I do."

"You have no idea how much I love you too…"

"Bit of an idea…" Aaron whispered. 

"Merry Christmas," Robert whispered. 

"It's Boxing Day by now."

"Fine. Happy Boxing Day," Robert laughed. 

"Sleep…" Robert whispered.

Aaron nodded, and they curled into each other, maneuvering so they were both comfortable, and then they faced each other and giggled, kissed, giggled, and kissed… 

Until Aaron's eyes slipped closed again. 

And for a second time, he woke up in Robert's arms…

He felt out of breath for a second, terrified by the love but more certain than ever, and… he carefully got out of the bed, found his phone on the floor with his pants, and snuck out of his room. He walked down to the kitchen and looked at the time —

No, he couldn't wait. 

He dialed Liv's number. 

"Aaron…" she was sleepy. "Did he tell ya," she said anyway.

He sighed, he felt bad, but… "Look, Liv, I need you to do me a really big favor."

"What?"

"Um…Robert and I got together last night."

"Together?"

"We're…you know together."

"Oh. Oh. Finally."

Aaron couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, well…um. I don't really want to take off in few days without him…"

"Or have your little sister around?"

He breathed a sigh of relief, she said. "Yeah."

"Okay."

"Okay? Just like that?"

"No, but...you should be with him."

"I'll see you as soon as we're back…we'll figure something out."

"I know. He can come too if you want."

"Liv, thanks…"

"You sound happy."

Aaron looked upstairs. "I am."

"Alright, it's only seven. I'm going back to bed…Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

"What was that?" Robert's voice made him jump. "Sorry."

"What you sneaking up on me for?" 

"I woke up. You weren't there…" Robert stepped closer. "Were you on the phone?"

"I called Liv."

"Why?"

"To ask her if it was alright, we went on our own."

"Aaron…"

"Don't…" Aaron grabbed Robert's waist. "Just don't. I want to be with you, alone, and… yeah, she gets it. She said finally."

Robert laughed. "Think we might get a lot of that."

"We'll survive."

"I don't know, Ibiza."

"Shut up."

"Make me…"

It wasn't long before they fell back into the bed, naked again, the laughter fading to something more — something that would last as long as everything implied.


End file.
